ALWAYS PEEL BACK THE LAYERS FOR DEEPER UNDERSTANDING

Jun 22, 2025

What You See Ain’t Always What It Is

Life is full of illusions.
We look at people every day—at work, on the street, on the screen—and we think we know who they are. We think we got them figured out just by the way they talk, dress, or carry themselves. But here’s the truth: you can’t judge a book by its cover, and you sure can’t judge a soul by the smile they wear.

People wear masks. And most of the time, those masks are thick. Smiles hide sadness. Loud voices cover deep fear. Anger might be the result of years of pain, abuse, or betrayal. And that person that seems cold? They might just be protecting what little peace they got left.

We’ve all been misunderstood. And we’ve all misread others too. That’s why we got to slow down and learn to peel back the layers before jumping to conclusions.

Surface-Level Judgment Is Dangerous

Let me paint a picture.
You meet a brother on the street. He won’t make eye contact. Talks short. Seems rude. First thought? “This dude got an attitude.” But what if I told you he just buried his mother last week? What if I told you he lost his job, and he’s trying to hold it together?

See, we don’t always get the full story.
And most people ain't gonna tell you what's really going on. They’ll just say, “I’m fine,” and keep it moving. Meanwhile, their soul is screaming.

Judging someone without peeling back the layers is like blaming a burning building for being on fire without asking who lit the match.

How Trauma Shapes Who We Become

People don’t just become cold, distant, angry, or hard for no reason. Life shapes us. Trauma is real.

The woman who always acts “masculine” and tough? Maybe she had to raise her younger siblings because her parents were missing in action. The man who can’t say “I love you”? Maybe every woman he ever opened up to crushed him.

These experiences become layers.
And behind every layer is a story. A story of hurt, survival, fear, disappointment… and yes, sometimes love trying to break through.

We Wear Masks to Survive

We live in a world that doesn’t always feel safe.
So people put on armor. The loudest dude in the room might be the most insecure. The woman who always smiles might be crying in the dark at night. We walk around carrying weight—bills, broken hearts, lost dreams—and nobody knows unless they really look.

This is why we have to show grace to others.
Not everyone knows how to ask for help. Not everyone knows how to be vulnerable. Some of us are still learning how to trust again.

How People See You Isn’t Always Who You Are

Let’s flip it.
Sometimes people misunderstand you.
They see your confidence and call it arrogance. They see your silence and think you’re rude. They see your strength and think you’re hard-hearted. But they don’t know your backstory. They don’t know the tears you shed behind closed doors, or the battles you fight just to get through the day.

This hurts. But give it time.
The ones who matter will eventually see who you really are. Real always recognizes real. But you gotta keep being true to yourself even when people don’t get it right away.

Examples of Misreading People in Everyday Life

1. The “Mean” Boss

You got a boss who don’t smile, don’t chat, and don’t seem friendly. Everyone says he’s cold. But what nobody knows is that he’s raising a special-needs child, working overtime, and grieving a lost sibling. His focus is survival, not small talk.

2. The “Snobby” Woman

You see a woman at church who never speaks. Folks say she thinks she’s better than everyone. Truth is, she’s shy, socially anxious, and battling depression. But she still shows up. That’s strength—not pride.

3. The “Lazy” Teen

There’s a young brother in the neighborhood who always seems lazy—sits on the porch, don’t speak, don’t smile. Folks talk. But nobody knows he’s being abused at home and doesn’t know where to turn. That silence? That’s fear.

How to Start Peeling Back the Layers

Slow down.
Don’t jump to conclusions. Ask yourself what might be going on behind the scenes.
Listen more than you speak.
Most people tell you who they are, but not with words—watch how they move, listen to what they don’t say.
Ask better questions.
Instead of “What’s wrong with them?” ask “What happened to them?”
Check your own mask.
Are you showing up real, or are you hiding too? Be honest with yourself.

Let’s Be Real With Each Other

This life is hard, family.
We all carry scars. We all got stories. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others. But when we take time to see past the mask, past the attitude, past the surface… that’s where real connection begins.

We were never meant to go through life alone.
We were never meant to judge from the outside in. We’re supposed to connect soul to soul, spirit to spirit. And that starts with understanding.

So next time you feel judged… don’t let it break you.
And next time you feel like judging someone else… stop and look deeper. Peel back those layers. You might find a whole human being under there, just like you.

Because at the end of the day…
We all just want to be seen. Really seen. And understood.