Dating in today’s world can be exciting, but it can also be dangerous. Many men in our community step into relationships with open hearts, only to discover they are being used. Too often, a brother thinks he is meeting someone who is genuine, but what he is really facing is a scheme designed to drain his pockets. I have personally seen too many men get caught up in these traps. Some of these scams may seem small, but when you add them up, the cost is heavy—not just in money, but in trust and spirit.
What makes this worse is that the very men trying to build real connections end up scarred and cautious. This is not about hating women. There are many strong, respectful, and honest sisters out here. But in the shadows, there are others who have mastered the art of trickery. They know how to make promises, stir up emotions, and vanish once they get what they want.
These games weaken our unity as a community. The truth must be spoken. Too many brothers are walking blind into situations where they are expected to provide everything, but receive nothing in return. A wise man sees the pattern before it plays out. A foolish man keeps paying until he has nothing left. What follows is not fiction.
These are real scams that are happening every day. If you are a man entering the dating scene, pay attention. Protect your money, your time, and your spirit.
Common Dating Scams in the Black Community
1. The Fake Cab Fare
She tells you she will pay half of the taxi and asks you to send her money for her half. Once you do, she keeps it and never shows up.
2. The Hungry Children Trap
You invite her to dinner. She shows up with several children you didn’t know she had, expecting you to pay for everyone’s meals.
3. The Babysitter Lie
She claims she needs money for a babysitter so she can go out with you. You send it, but she either never shows or her family watches the kids for free while she pockets your money.
4. The Ghost After the Feast
She demands expensive restaurants and top-shelf meals. After one or two dates, she disappears, leaving you broke and confused.
5. The Emergency Bill Scam
She suddenly tells you her phone bill, rent, or light bill is due. She promises to pay you back or reward you later. That reward never comes.
6. The Transportation Setup
She claims she needs gas money or bus fare to meet you. You send it. She never makes the trip.
7. The Fake Birthday
Some women lie about it being their birthday, pressuring you to shower them with gifts, meals, or money.
8. The Group Date Hustle
You think you’re going out with her alone. She brings a group of friends, orders the most expensive items, and leaves you with the check.
9. The “Help Me With Groceries” Play
She asks for help buying groceries. You believe you are supporting her household, but she is only testing how much money you are willing to give up.
10. The Quick Loan Scam
She says she just needs to borrow a small amount until payday. Payday never comes, and neither does your money.
11. The Online App Trick
She asks you to send money through Cash App or another app “just to prove you’re real.” Once you do, she blocks you.
12. The “Surprise Fee” Scam
When it’s time to meet, she claims her babysitter, driver, or cousin is demanding money. You’re guilt-tripped into covering it.
13. The Phone Bill Game
She claims she can’t keep talking unless you pay her phone bill. You send the money, then she cuts off contact anyway.
14. The Sob Story Scam
She tells you a sad story—her car broke down, her mother is sick, or her child needs medicine. Out of kindness, you send money. She uses it for her own desires.
15. The No-Show Date
She agrees to meet you, accepts money for transportation, clothing, or preparation, then never shows up.
16. The Lifestyle Upgrade
She makes you feel special, but every time you meet, she requests gifts, trips, or shopping sprees. Her goal is not a relationship but to upgrade her life on your back.
17. The Rent Queen
She tells you she is about to get put out of her home. Out of pity, you pay. She moves on to the next man once she is secure.
18. The Fake Intimacy Promise
She hints that intimacy will happen if you “help her out” first. Once you provide the money, she changes the subject and ghosts you.
19. The Repeated Test
She starts small—asking for a few dollars. If you pay, the requests grow larger. It becomes a cycle designed to see how far you’ll go.
20. The Social Media Hustle
She makes men compete to send her money by playing on jealousy and attention. Whoever gives the most is “rewarded” with time, but rarely with respect.
Brothers, these games are happening every single day. Many men feel embarrassed to admit they have been tricked, so the cycle continues. Silence only helps the scam artist, not the victim. We must learn to recognize the patterns. Real love does not come with endless requests for money. Real connection is built on time, honesty, and respect—not cash transfers and pity stories. Understand that if she sees you as an ATM, she will never see you as a man.
Do not confuse charm with sincerity. Do not allow loneliness to blind you. We have to protect ourselves, because when a man is drained of his resources, his confidence, and his trust, the entire community suffers. A broken man cannot lead, build, or protect. I share this message not to bring hate, but to bring light. Let us keep our eyes open, our wallets guarded, and our dignity intact. The games will continue—but if we stop playing, the scam loses power.
Sincerely,
LanceScurv
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