HAS SOCIAL MEDIA TURNED DATING INTO A MERE BUSINESS TRANSACTION?
The way we connect, love, and build relationships has changed. Once upon a time, dating followed a natural order—meeting someone, going on dates, courting, engagement, and finally marriage. This was not perfect, but it gave structure and purpose. Today, social media has shattered much of that foundation.
What was once a journey of true connection is now a marketplace of images, likes, and shallow attention. Many men now see women as objects, while too many women see men only as wallets. This toxic exchange has pushed real love to the background.
Our Black community feels this breakdown even more. We already battle against forces that try to divide us. But instead of standing strong together, many of us are caught up in the false world of social media, where looks and money seem to mean more than character and commitment.
The old days taught patience and responsibility. You built with someone, you grew with them, and you valued who they were inside. But now, social media has created a world where love is transactional, shallow, and often built on lies.
I believe this is one of the greatest dangers we face today—not just broken relationships, but a broken culture. And if we don’t talk about it, if we don’t face it, we will lose even more of what once made love and family sacred in our community.
The Old Way of Love
Back in the day, dating was not about quick gains. It was about getting to know someone and deciding if they were right for marriage. Courtship meant patience, respect, and family involvement. Engagement was the clear step before marriage, and marriage was the ultimate goal.
In that world, a man worked to prove himself worthy, not just with money, but with honor, commitment, and responsibility. A woman valued herself not by what she could get out of a man, but by the love, respect, and partnership she could build with him.
This balance created stronger families. It gave children a foundation. It gave men and women purpose in building together.
How Social Media Changed Everything
Social media has completely flipped dating upside down. Now, attention is currency. A woman can post a seductive photo and gain thousands of likes, messages, and offers from men she does not even know.
Men, on the other hand, often reduce women to nothing more than bodies on display. Real conversations and real bonding are replaced by DMs and empty words.
What this has created is a system where both sexes are using each other. Women hustle men for money and gifts, while men chase women for pleasure without responsibility. Love is missing. Structure is gone.
Entitlement and Transactional Love
In today’s world, many women no longer see dating as a step toward marriage. Instead, they see it as a business. They ask: “What are you going to do for me if I go out with you?”
It has gone beyond paying for dinner. Some demand money for hair, nails, babysitters, or even just their time. It has become a hustle, and men are forced into a role of constant providers without trust, love, or loyalty.
This entitled mindset is poisoning relationships. Instead of asking, “What can we build together?” the question is, “What can you give me right now?”
The Rise of the “Modern Woman”
Many women now call themselves “modern women.” They say they don’t need a man for anything. But in reality, many carry anger, bitterness, and a sense of superiority. This pushes away good men who want to build a real partnership.
This bitterness is often fed by social media, where likes and comments give a false sense of power. But when the camera is off, many of these same women feel empty and alone. The digital validation cannot replace true love.
The Loss of Romance and Passion
Back in the 70s, love songs and culture celebrated deep passion. Men wanted to win a woman’s heart, not just her body. Women wanted to share in a man’s dreams, not just his paycheck.
Today, that passion has been replaced with suspicion, entitlement, and broken trust. Love is no longer about building together, but about transactions and short-term gain.
Our community suffers when love is stripped of emotion. Without strong couples, we cannot have strong families. And without strong families, our community is left broken and weak.
The Impact on the Black Community
For the Black community, the damage runs deep. Social media has magnified divisions between Black men and women. Too often, instead of unity, we see constant battles. Instead of love, we see exploitation.
When women treat men only as providers and men treat women only as objects, both sides lose. The family structure suffers, and children grow up without examples of healthy love. This cycle repeats itself generation after generation.
If we don’t address this, we risk losing the foundation of our culture. We cannot let social media destroy what so many before us fought to build.
Rebuilding What Was Lost
We must return to the values of patience, respect, and partnership. Dating should not be a hustle. It should be the beginning of building something greater.
We must reject the false standards of social media and focus on real-life connection. We must bring back the honor of courting, the seriousness of engagement, and the sacredness of marriage.
Only then can we create relationships that last and families that thrive.
Social media has given us tools, but it has also given us poison. It has turned dating into a game of lust, greed, and deception. But we can rise above this if we choose to return to real love.
The Black community cannot afford to be divided by false images and selfish demands. We must heal our relationships so we can heal our families.
Dating, courting, engagement, and marriage must once again mean something real. They must become more than steps—we must see them as sacred responsibilities.
I will continue to speak on these truths because silence is no option. We must protect the next generation from believing that social media is love.
The future of our community depends on what we do today. Let us rebuild love, respect, and unity before it is too late.
