SHE DOESN'T WANT LOVE, SHE WANTS RESISTANCE...

Let me start this off by saying very clearly—this is not about all women. This is not an attack. It’s an observation, one that comes from experience, reflection, and a little pain. I’m not here to generalize, but I’m also not going to ignore patterns when they show up time and time again. There are certain women out there—and many young men run into them—who don’t want what they say they want.

Some women don’t want love. They don’t want kindness. They don’t want a man who listens, cares, and shows up. At least, not in the way you think. What they want is a challenge. A struggle. A resistance. Not because they’re evil or broken, but because they’ve learned to find value in conquest. And that kind of psychology can twist a good man up if he doesn’t understand what’s happening.

Too many young men are out here thinking that consistency, affection, and effort are the key to a woman’s heart. And usually, they are—for the right kind of woman. But for some, the moment you start pouring into her, she pulls away. She becomes cold. Distant. Unreachable. And you’re left confused, wondering what you did wrong.

The truth is, for some women, attention is the prize—but only when it’s hard to get. These women aren’t looking for love, they’re looking for the thrill of trying to earn it. They want to chase what isn’t chasing them. And when you’re too available, when you’re emotionally honest and vulnerable, they don’t feel drawn in—they feel repelled. To them, ease means weakness.

I’m speaking from experience. And I’ve seen too many young brothers give everything, only to end up drained, discarded, and disrespected. So this piece is for them. Not to teach hate, but to teach awareness. To remind them to look beyond the performance—because some performances are built on games of power, not partnerships of love.

1. When Love Becomes a Game of Power

These women don’t want the man who bends for them. They want the one who doesn’t. The one who doesn’t call back. The one who looks away in a room full of admirers. To them, indifference is power—and love is only useful when it’s hard-earned. It’s not about connection. It’s about control. The moment they feel like they have you, they lose interest.

You could be the kindest man in the room, but if you’re consistent and present, you’ll get labeled boring. The one who ignores them? He becomes a mystery. And mystery, to some of these women, is more powerful than affection. They don’t crave closeness. They crave the thrill of chasing something that stays just out of reach.

2. The Performance Is Not Passion

You may think her silence is mystery, her distance is depth—but often, it's calculation. She wants to see if you flinch. If you chase. If you break your boundaries to win her approval. And the minute you do, she knows she owns the script. It’s not always about love—it’s about dominance dressed up as desire.

That smile, that softness, the slow conversation? That might not be romance. It might be part of a test. She’s not reacting to who you are. She’s reacting to how much control she can get. When you show her warmth, she turns cold. When you stay grounded, she gets curious. She only respects what doesn’t move.

3. Why Kindness Is Often Misread as Weakness

Here’s the trap: you think your loyalty, your patience, your gentleness will show her you're the one. But some women don’t see it that way. To them, kindness is currency—and if they already have it, it’s worthless. They don’t want what’s free. They want what’s locked away. What requires effort. And your devotion makes you look like a background character in her story, not the main event.

She’s not looking for peace. She’s looking for fire. Not to keep warm—but to feel alive. She’ll stay with the man who mistreats her, not because he’s better, but because he’s harder to reach. She remembers the man who vanished, not the one who stayed. That’s how her emotional compass is wired.

4. Not All Women, But Enough to Speak On

Let me say it again: this is not about all women. This is not about painting them with one brush. There are many women who appreciate kindness, who love deeply, who want a real connection. But this expression is about a specific type. One that knows how to use beauty like a weapon, charm like a mask, and affection like a hook.

And if you're not aware, you’ll fall for it. You’ll think you’re being a man by giving your all. But some of these women don’t want your all—they want your struggle. They want to feel like they conquered you, not connected with you. And once they have that feeling, they’re gone. The game ends. And you’re left wondering if the love was ever real.

5. How Young Men Can Protect Themselves

Men, especially young men—protect your energy. Don’t stop being kind. Don’t stop being loving. But learn to recognize when your love is being used as a test. Don’t confuse her attention for affection. Don’t mistake the chase for connection. Real love doesn’t require you to lose yourself.

If she only lights up when you’re distant, and grows cold when you’re kind—that’s a sign. If she pulls back every time you open up, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your job to heal someone who’s addicted to emotional resistance. You can’t win in a game where the rules change every time you show love. Choose peace over performance.

There are women out here who are deeply loving, who want real connection, who respect vulnerability and presence. But that’s not who we’re talking about here. This is about a certain kind of woman, one who confuses resistance with romance, and control with connection. And if you’re not careful, you’ll think it’s love when really, it’s emotional warfare.

I’m not bitter. I’m awake. And if you’ve lived through this, you know what I mean. That feeling when your affection becomes ammunition. When your vulnerability gets turned into weakness. When the more you give, the less you’re respected. That’s not how love should work.

The truth is, some women don’t want to be loved. They want to win. They want to conquer. And if you make yourself too easy to reach, too easy to understand, too easy to please—you stop being valuable in their eyes. Because their version of love isn’t about peace. It’s about proving something to themselves through the chase.

So guard your soul. Don’t become bitter, but don’t become blind either. Recognize the difference between a woman who builds with you and one who battles you for emotional control. Love should feel like home, not like a strategy.

And if you ever find yourself losing sleep, trying to figure out why she pulled away when you gave her everything, remember this: you weren’t the problem. You were just too available to be desired. And for some women, the only man they’ll ever chase is the one who walks away.

I sincerely speak from experience,

Lance Scurv