SOLITUDE...
IS THE TRAINING GROUND FOR KINGS
In the present day, young Black men are bombarded with messages that tell them success and happiness are tied to having a woman by their side. Social media, music, movies, and peer pressure all push the idea that being in a relationship is the ultimate sign of manhood. But what if that’s not the path to real power? What if a young man’s 20s should be about something far greater—setting a foundation for the rest of his life?
This article isn’t about discrediting women—there are good women out there. But there is a season for everything, and when a man is building himself, the concrete needs time to harden before anyone steps into the mold. The truth is, many young men jump into relationships prematurely, often with the wrong women, and end up facing unnecessary struggles—unwanted pregnancies, child support battles, domestic disputes, financial instability, and emotional turmoil.
This is a message for young Black men in urban America: Embrace solitude. Invest in yourself. Train your mind, body, spirit, and finances before bringing anyone into your world. Let’s talk about why walking alone, at least for a season, is one of the smartest decisions you can make.
1. The Truth About Living Alone: A Man’s Superpower
Society conditions us to believe that a man who lives alone without a girlfriend is lonely, miserable, or incomplete. But in reality, solitude is a superpower. Some of the greatest minds—philosophers, warriors, and thinkers—spent long periods of their lives alone, not because they were forced to, but because they understood the power of self-mastery.
A man who can stand on his own two feet, without relying on a relationship for validation or support, is stronger than most. He’s not waiting for someone to rescue him—he is his own rescue.
Imagine two young men:
One spends his 20s chasing relationships, dealing with breakups, paying child support, and constantly distracted by drama.
The other spends his 20s mastering his craft, stacking his money, getting in shape, and training his mind.
Who will be in a better position at 30? The answer is clear.
2. Avoiding the Pitfalls: The Dangers of Jumping Into Relationships Too Soon
Too many young men ruin their futures because they don’t take the time to build themselves first. Let’s look at some of the common pitfalls:
Unwanted Pregnancies & Child Support – Many young men find themselves trapped financially because they had children before they were financially secure. The government doesn’t care if you’re struggling—child support will take your check before you even see it.
Domestic Disputes & Jail Time – Arguments turn into fights, fights turn into arrests, and suddenly your future is in the hands of the system. One bad decision can set you back years.
Financial Drain – A man in his 20s should be focused on stacking money, not spending it. Dating, impressing women, and maintaining a relationship can be expensive.
Emotional & Mental Breakdown – Toxic relationships drain you mentally. Instead of focusing on your goals, you’re dealing with stress, arguments, and distractions.
Many men waste their prime years dealing with unnecessary drama, only to wake up at 35 or 40 and realize they’ve built nothing for themselves. Don’t let that be you.
3. Self-Sufficiency: The Strength of Relying on Yourself
A man who lives alone learns true independence. There’s no girlfriend to cook for him, no one to split bills with, no emotional support when things get tough. And that’s a good thing.
At first, it can be challenging, but over time, you develop a rock-solid sense of self-sufficiency. You learn:
How to manage your money wisely.
How to discipline yourself without external motivation.
How to control your emotions and stay focused under pressure.
Most people panic at the thought of being alone. But a strong man embraces it. When you remove distractions, you gain clarity. You start making moves based on logic, not emotion.
4. Solitude Is the Training Ground for Kings
The greatest warriors, thinkers, and leaders all understood the power of solitude. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor, wrote in Meditations that “Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul.”
Too many young men today fear being alone. They scroll through social media, binge-watch TV, and constantly seek validation because they can’t handle silence. But a man who embraces solitude learns how to sit with his thoughts, confront his weaknesses, and sharpen his strengths.
Think of solitude as a mental gym—the place where you train your mind, discipline your emotions, and prepare yourself for battle.
5. Emotional Control: The Mark of a True Man
One of the biggest reasons young men fail in relationships is because they never learned to master their emotions. When you’re constantly arguing, getting jealous, or seeking validation, you’re giving your power away.
A man who lives alone learns how to:
Control his emotions under pressure.
Handle stress without breaking down.
Move with calmness and confidence, no matter the situation.
This is what separates boys from men. When you own your emotions, no one can manipulate or control you.
6. Financial Freedom: The Smart Man’s Advantage
A man in his 20s should be stacking money, not spending it on distractions. Relationships, dating, and chasing women cost time and money—two things you can’t afford to waste when you’re still building.
By living alone and staying focused, you:
Save more money.
Invest in skills and opportunities.
Build real financial security.
Many men struggle financially not because they don’t make enough money, but because they spend it on the wrong things. Women respect men who have their finances in order, not men who waste their paychecks trying to impress them.
7. When You’re Ready, You’ll Choose Wisely
This isn’t about avoiding relationships forever. It’s about being ready when the time comes.
A man who has mastered himself doesn’t settle for just any woman. He doesn’t choose out of desperation—he chooses from a place of strength.
By the time you’re in your 30s or 40s, if you’ve built yourself up, you’ll attract higher-quality women—women who respect your time, your vision, and your leadership.
But if you jump in too early? You might end up with someone who slows you down or destroys everything you’ve built.
The Path of the Strong Man
Young Black men, hear me loud and clear:
Your 20s are for building.
Build your mind – Read, study, learn.
Build your body – Stay fit and strong.
Build your spirit – Stay grounded and disciplined.
Build your finances – Stack money and make smart moves.
Women, relationships, and love? That will come later. But right now, your mission is to become the best version of yourself before bringing anyone else into your world.
When the concrete is still wet, you don’t let anyone step in it. Let it harden. Then, and only then, do you decide who’s worthy to walk beside you.
Stay strong. Stay focused. And build your empire.
