THE COVERT NARCISSIST...
THE SILENT WATCHER IN THE SOCIAL MEDIA SHADOWS
I have been creating content online since 2001, long before social media became the digital battleground it is today. Over the years, I have witnessed countless scenarios of harassment, manipulation, and stalking unfold in real time. I have seen how people—driven by envy, malice, or an insatiable need for control—attempt to break the spirits of those who dare to shine too brightly. The internet, while a powerful tool for expression and connection, has also become a playground for narcissistic predators who hide behind screens, studying their targets, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. And I know this because I have lived it.
Through the years, I have been on the receiving end of these attacks—sometimes subtle, sometimes blatant—but always insidious. There have been individuals who have tried to latch onto my platform, pretending to be supporters, only to later reveal their true intentions. They sought to undermine me, take control of what I built, and, when they realized they couldn’t, they attempted to destroy it out of spite. These narcissistic stalkers don’t just want to see you fail; they want to be the ones who orchestrate your downfall. And if they can’t bring you down directly, they will recruit others—what we call "flying monkeys"—to do their dirty work.
Despite these attacks, I have stood my ground. I am a one-man show, and my resilience has been tested time and time again. But I am still here. Not because I have never faced adversity, but because I refuse to let it define me. It takes strength to navigate these treacherous waters, to keep creating, to keep speaking, to keep moving forward while knowing there are those who watch in silence, seething at your success. These narcissistic entities don’t just exist in the shadows of social media; they are often people who were once close, who once smiled in your face but couldn’t stomach your growth.
It always starts the same way—things seem good in the beginning. You connect, you collaborate, you support one another. But at some point, when they realize that your light isn’t dimming, that your voice isn’t weakening, the shift begins. The admiration turns into resentment. The silent support turns into covert sabotage. And before you know it, you have a stalker—one who studies your every move, who watches your content obsessively, waiting for an opportunity to twist your words, discredit your work, or launch an attack from the shadows.
I have seen this happen to so many innocent people—individuals with pure intentions, creative spirits, and righteous aspirations who simply wanted to share their gifts with the world. And time and time again, I have watched these narcissistic predators try to tear them down, using lies, smear campaigns, and psychological warfare to break them. But here’s the truth: as long as you remain true to yourself and your mission, you will always win. These people can plot, scheme, and attack, but they can never take away your authenticity. And that is what threatens them the most. Now, let’s delve into the mind of these covert narcissists—the silent watchers in the social media shadows.A covert narcissist is always watching. Whether you’re still in their clutches or you managed to escape, one thing remains certain—they never stop monitoring you. They track your every move, lurking on your social media, gathering information, and using what they find to deceive, manipulate, and control you.
These individuals are not just watching out of curiosity. Their goal is to undermine you, to distort your reality, and ultimately, to make sure you don’t rise above them. The more you thrive, the more it eats away at their fragile ego. But make no mistake, they won’t just sit back and let you glow up in peace.
Let’s break down how the covert narcissist operates in the digital world, the tactics they use to stay in your business, and how you can recognize—and outmaneuver—their surveillance.
1. Surveillance as a Form of Abuse
The first thing you need to understand is that narcissists use monitoring as a weapon. It's not just passive watching; it's active surveillance meant to exert control over you.
They want to keep tabs on your movements to anticipate what you’ll do next.
They use your posts, pictures, and interactions to create a psychological blueprint of your life.
They gather evidence—not to protect themselves, but to manipulate you.
This is psychological warfare. By monitoring you, they can stay ten steps ahead, twisting situations, gaslighting you, and ensuring you remain tangled in their web.
2. The Covert Narcissist’s Social Media Tactics
Narcissists are sneaky. They won’t always come at you directly. Instead, they’ll employ a range of tactics to track and manipulate you while keeping their hands clean.
Fake Accounts & “Flying Monkeys”
They may create fake profiles to watch your stories, posts, and interactions undetected.
If you’ve blocked them, they might use a friend’s account or have someone else spy on you for them.
They’ll send flying monkeys—people who still interact with you and report back on everything you say and do.
Liking, Unliking, and Passive-Aggressive Posts
They’ll like an old post, just to remind you they’re still watching.
They may accidentally follow and unfollow you, trying to gauge if you’ll react.
They’ll post cryptic status updates, indirectly targeting you while maintaining plausible deniability.
Engaging in Silent Warfare
They’ll never like, comment, or support your success publicly—but they’re watching.
If they see you thriving, they’ll find ways to sabotage your confidence—maybe a fake rumor starts circulating, or an ex suddenly reaches out.
They’ll purposely ignore your achievements while celebrating someone else’s to trigger your emotions.
They want to be a ghost in your life, unseen but always present, controlling your thoughts and feelings without you even realizing it.
3. The Narcissist’s Ultimate Fear: Your Success
At the core of their obsession is one undeniable truth—they can’t stand to see you doing well.
If you’re happy, it enrages them.
If you’re thriving without them, it terrifies them.
If you’ve moved on, they’ll try to rewrite history, discredit you, and minimize your achievements.
This is why they stalk you so intensely. Your success reminds them of who they really are—broken, insecure, and empty. They see your strength, your light, and your ability to heal, and it burns them to their core.
4. How to Protect Yourself from Their Digital Manipulation
Now that you understand their tactics, let’s talk about how to shut them down.
A. Lock Down Your Social Media
Make your accounts private. Only let trusted people in.
Block, restrict, and remove mutual contacts who might be feeding them information.
Watch your digital footprint. Don’t overshare your moves—let your actions, not your announcements, speak.
B. Stop Feeding Their Ego
Don’t react to their breadcrumbs (likes, fake accounts, indirect posts).
Don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing they still affect you.
Stay focused on your journey, not their attempts to derail you.
C. Be Mindful of Energy Leaks
Reduce your time engaging in social media drama.
Be intentional about what you post. If you don’t want them knowing, don’t put it out there.
Use social media to elevate yourself, not as a battleground for their mind games.
5. The Hard Truth: They Will Never Change
You might think that one day, they’ll finally get over it. That they’ll stop watching, stop obsessing, and just move on.
But they won’t.
A narcissist’s greatest fear is irrelevance. If you escape their control and thrive, it exposes their true powerlessness.
They will keep stalking you in the shadows.
They will keep trying to manipulate reality to make themselves feel superior.
They will never admit they’re the problem.
But here’s the key: you don’t have to play their game.
Conclusion: Your Best Revenge Is Living Well
At the end of the day, the best way to destroy a covert narcissist is to thrive in peace.
When you stop giving them access to your life, they lose their grip on your mind.
When you heal, grow, and move on, they’re left with nothing but their own emptiness.
When you don’t react, they lose control.
So let them watch. Let them lurk. Let them waste their energy obsessing over you while you build a life so fulfilling that their existence becomes irrelevant.
The ultimate payback isn’t calling them out. It’s proving, without a word, that they never had power over you to begin with.