THE HIDDEN MISTAKES MOST WOMEN MAKE IN DATING...
...INSTANT TURNOFF?
Before we dive in, let’s make something clear: this discussion is not about demonizing women. There are plenty of amazing, loving, and self-aware women out there. This is about helping young men recognize and avoid women who have not healed from their past, who refuse to do the inner work, and who unknowingly sabotage their relationships.
Too many men get caught in the cycle of dating women who bring unresolved pain from previous relationships, taking it out on the next man. If you’re a young man navigating the dating world, you need to recognize the red flags before you waste your time, energy, and emotions on someone who is incapable of building with you.
So what is the biggest mistake that 90% of women make that completely kills their attractiveness?
The Entitlement That Destroys Attraction
The single biggest turnoff that most women today exhibit is their sense of entitlement—the belief that simply being a woman is enough to keep a man engaged, entertained, and investing in her.
Modern dating has created an environment where many women expect the man to be the one constantly entertaining, impressing, and providing, while they contribute nothing beyond their mere presence. They act as if:
Just showing up is enough.
A man should bend over backward to impress her.
She is entitled to his attention, energy, and resources simply because she exists.
But here’s the truth: Attraction is a two-way street. A man should never feel like he’s a performer in a zoo, constantly dancing to keep a woman’s attention while she sits back and does nothing.
A woman who brings nothing but attitude, expectations, and a sense of superiority is a woman who will lose a good man every time.
Why This Mentality is a Problem
Many women have been conditioned to believe that because they look good, they don’t need to offer anything more. They think their beauty is enough—that a man should fight for them, chase them, and prove himself over and over.
What they fail to realize is that:
1. Looks fade, but character lasts. If all you have is beauty, what happens when a man gets used to your face? What happens when another woman comes along who is equally attractive but also brings value?
2. Men are waking up. More and more men are realizing that they are not obligated to chase after women who don’t bring anything meaningful to the table.
3. Entitlement is a repellent. The moment a man senses that a woman believes he is “lucky” to have her, rather than seeing it as a mutual blessing, his attraction plummets.
Women who understand this stand out—not because they are submissive or desperate, but because they bring something rare to the table: appreciation, effort, and genuine partnership.
Men, Here’s What You Need to Do
If you’re dealing with a woman who expects you to be her personal entertainment center, financial provider, and emotional support system, but she brings nothing in return, walk away.
Stop chasing women who do the bare minimum.
Stop entertaining women who treat you like a backup plan until someone “better” comes along.
Stop investing in women who don’t appreciate your presence and effort.
A woman who is truly interested in you will show up in the relationship—not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
The Women Who Get It, Win
The top 10% of women—those who actually understand attraction—never make this mistake. They know that just like men have to earn a woman’s respect, women also have to earn a man’s commitment.
These women:
✔ Understand that attraction is mutual.
✔ Bring value to a relationship beyond just their looks.
✔ Appreciate a good man instead of taking him for granted.
✔ Put in effort to nurture the connection, rather than expecting the man to do all the work.
The sad truth is, most women today have been conditioned to believe that they don’t have to bring anything to the table. But men are waking up—and they’re choosing to walk away rather than waste their time on someone who sees them as a source of entertainment, validation, and resources.
Young Men, Choose Wisely
If you’re a young man reading this, let this be a lesson: A beautiful woman with an ugly attitude is still unattractive.
Choose wisely. Invest in women who see relationships as partnerships, not one-sided arrangements where the man has to constantly prove himself.
And to the women reading this: If you find yourself struggling in relationships, take a hard look at what you’re actually bringing to the table. Because the truth is, men don’t owe you anything just for existing—and the moment you act like they do, you’ve already lost the game.
Understand Where I’m Coming From
My deep understanding of women and relationships didn’t come from books, lectures, or secondhand stories—it came from real-life experience, starting from an early age. Growing up in New York City, I was surrounded by a diverse and endless pool of young women, which gave me the unique opportunity to learn, observe, and experience relationships on multiple levels. Unlike many of my peers who were still figuring things out in their early twenties, I had already navigated intense emotional bonds, fleeting encounters, and everything in between. From innocent puppy love to deeper, more mature connections, every experience shaped me, allowing me to recognize patterns, motivations, and the unspoken language between men and women.
One of the most eye-opening aspects of my journey was the dynamic of dating older women, even when I was still a teenager. While society might frown upon such experiences, I won’t deny that they granted me a level of insight that most young men never had access to. Some of these women saw me as a toy, something for their amusement, while others genuinely cared for me and taught me things that extended far beyond the physical. I learned how women think, what drives them, and the emotional needs that often go unspoken. This hands-on education, though unconventional, allowed me to see past surface-level interactions and understand the deeper psychological and emotional aspects of relationships.
By the time I reached adulthood, I was already well-versed in the highs and lows of romantic connections. I had seen love, lust, manipulation, devotion, and deception—all firsthand. Many young men enter their twenties as rookies, stumbling through trial and error. I, however, was already a seasoned veteran, armed with knowledge that extended beyond just relationships—it was about human nature itself. I knew how to read people, how to anticipate situations, and most importantly, how to protect myself emotionally. And though I wasn’t fully mature at 20, I had an awareness that most men don’t develop until much later in life, if at all.
Now, at almost 62 years old, that knowledge has only deepened. My life experiences, combined with decades of observation, have granted me a perspective that is both rare and valuable. Because of my blog, videos, and the conversations I’ve had, I often get younger men seeking guidance—men who are trying to navigate the complexities of relationships without making critical mistakes. I don’t claim to know everything, nor do I position myself as the ultimate authority on the subject. But what I do have is wisdom gained through lived experience, and if sharing that can help even one person avoid unnecessary pain, then I feel compelled to do so.
At this stage of my life, I’m out of the game. I’m a retired, married man living in the beautiful mountains of West Africa, far removed from the chaos and toxicity of the inner city dating world. But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten what I’ve learned. I understand the struggles, the pitfalls, and the realities that many young men face, and I share my experiences not to glorify them, but to educate and inform. My goal is not to dictate how anyone should live their life, but to provide a perspective that can serve as a guide. Whether my insights are accepted or not is up to the individual, but one thing is certain—real-world experience is one of the best teachers, and I’ve had more than my fair share.
Thank you so much for simply being here,
Much Love,
LanceScurv
