WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TOOK YOURSELF OUT ON A DATE?

People who you once thought would love you forever can sometimes leave your life as total strangers—with absolutely no resemblance to that wonderful person who once brought so much joy to your world. There is just no way of knowing what is going on in someone else’s head!

To find out takes time. Do not rush a situation until time has revealed what is hidden.
People grow. People change. People will be affected by the traumatic circumstances they must endure. You must make sure to watch the trajectory of their path in life so you can make a wise decision when allowing them into your space. There are precautions that will increase one’s chances of making a sound decision to move forward with a potential mate on the level of complete intimacy.

To utilize these precautions takes time. Do not trust a situation until time has revealed what is hidden.
You must watch the path left behind by anyone who desires to share their life with you. Do you expect to drive away in a luxury car without even as much as a credit check? Our problems come when we do not inquire enough about a potential mate’s past.

To find out about one’s background takes time. Do not rush a situation until time has revealed what wasn’t willingly shared or spoken.

Trust is the credit of the heart. A very low rating comes from relationships ruined by deceit, inconsideration, and selfishness. A good rating is built from sharing, loving, and giving. Never freely allow anyone to easily enjoy your emotional resources when they have consistently left a trail of pain and heartbreak in the lives of others!

To find out about the status of those past relationships takes time. Do not rush a situation until time has revealed what was left behind—a mutually peaceful parting or a well-covered tragedy?

Many of us price ourselves too low and are shy to demand the best for ourselves and our potential mates! This is not a bargain-basement half-off sale! This is your love, your time, your body, your resources, and your life!

So the question that remains is: Are you being treated like the Queen that you know you are—with a vast respect that is evident from the daily celebration of who you are and the wonderful qualities of character that you possess—or are you just considered to be bargain-basement booty?

Many women who have endured plenty of obstacles, whether emotional, mental, or physical in nature, have not given ourselves enough time to heal before being able to handle new challenges.

Nothing happens before its time!

If you need another year after that torturous relationship to feel like yourself again, by all means, take it! But please do not sell yourself short just to say you have a man by your side—especially when you might not be in the proper state of mind to truly assess what this new energy is all about in your life in the form of this man!

You wouldn’t take on a mortgage obligation without a verifiable source of steady income, now would you? So why would you take on an entirely new relationship in your life when you know good and damn well that you haven’t healed from the pain of the one prior? That is why many of us have the drama that we do. Slow it down!

Take Time to Love Yourself

Here is one way to not be considered a cheap thrill by a sweet-talking dude who knows he’s caught a good woman that might be a bit drained and confused, and ripe to be used for her physical charms or financial resources: take time to love yourself!

Yes…

Let me ask you something, ladies—
When was the last time you took yourself out on a date?

Sound corny? You better listen…

Okay. First of all, on a day off, you need to turn off that cell phone and either mute or just do not answer your house phone. If you need to tell your close comrades that you will not be available for the weekend or the day, then do so—but you do not have to tell them why. And I strongly suggest that you don’t!

Get whatever business squared away the day before so that you will not have to deal with any outside energy at all, except maybe for a life-or-death emergency.

Also, the night before your hot date with yourself, clean your home to the best of your ability, because you will be entertaining an extremely important person—you!

Heck!
You’ve cleaned up your home for everybody else who wanted to come by and lay up on you even when, deep down, you didn’t really want them there—so why can’t you get the same treatment? Haven’t you worked hard enough to at least enjoy the fruits of your labor?

You see, when a prospective man observes how special you treat yourself from his external vantage point, he will hesitate to come at you with a hidden agenda because he can see that your esteem is sky-high—even if it isn’t at that particular time. At least he wouldn’t know it because of how he sees you treating yourself!

Lay out your best for that day. And while you know that you’ll be dating yourself the next day, you want to come home to an atmosphere so uplifting to your spirit that even if you decide to just fall out on the couch and sleep the rest of the night, at least everything was in place for you—and that choice was yours.

Lay out your best china and silverware on the table with those candles you could never find the courage to use. Even if you don’t intend to burn them, lay them out! If you don’t own any expensive china, at least go out and purchase something nice for one table setting.

If this isn’t possible right now (I know times are tight!), then go ahead and place a paper plate and a plastic knife, fork, and spoon there. Why? Because it is important to see that there is a place reserved for you somewhere in this world! We do so much for others and forsake those little pleasures that, in essence, are something special we should feel on a constant basis.

After you wake up on the day of your solo date, make sure to make up your bed with the best sheets you have. If you don’t have any you consider “best,” that’s okay—make up the bed in a more flamboyant way than usual. The mentality here is that you are taking yourself out of your usual “space” and proving to yourself that you have the power to change your reality—it doesn’t take much!

Treat your refrigerator to a few items that might be a little above your budget—those small luxuries you always wanted but never bought. Maybe it’s a jar of fancy mustard, high-end bread or biscuits, or two small rotisserie chickens (highly recommended, because you don’t want to cook when you return from your date!).

The trick is to make your fridge an adventure by picking up items that make you feel special! Stop being a creature of habit and surprise yourself when you open that refrigerator door in the middle of the night. Wouldn’t that be a nice feeling?

Now—the house is clean. The bed is laid nicely after a great night’s sleep. The table is set beautifully. The fridge is full of goodies.

Your crib is straight.

Maybe now you should go for a pedicure and a trip to the beauty salon. This can be done the day before—your choice—but make sure to at least go through the motions of pampering yourself, because the main goal of all of this is to make yourself understand that you are the most special individual in your life—one who will never leave you, never hurt you, and will be with you more than any other person or entity in this world other than your Creator.

With this mindset, you will understand that you can never love yourself too much. And if someone suggests that you are, check their agenda, because evidently they feel that some of your attention should support their motivations—and that’s not always a good thing.

We’re only talking about one day to yourself here—but if truth be told, this should be a regular practice!

After your pampering session—which should include a few new pairs of shoes, a new outfit or two, and maybe a trip to Victoria’s Secret for some brand-new “honey pot holders” (panties, LOL!) that no man has ever seen you in—take a luxurious bath with candles, flower petals, and those special bath oils that have been sitting unused for ages.

Grab a book (even if you don’t read it), put on some soft music, and block out the world. Keep those windows closed to drown out the noise, and by all means, do not answer the door if it rings—even if it’s a nosy neighbor. Leave a note on the door saying, “Please do not interrupt my afternoon prayer session!” That’ll stop them in their tracks every time! LOL.

Actually, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to bring your Bible with you to absorb a few scriptures as you luxuriate in the peaceful tranquility of those all-consuming suds.

Make sure to shower off the outside grit before your bath. Take as long as you want—even nap if you like. This is your time, darling!

Did I mention you should order flowers to be delivered to yourself the next day? Why? Because you’re thanking yourself for spending such a wonderful time with you—and you’re looking forward to doing it again soon!

Leave it unsigned and take a few photos when it arrives, because flowers do die…

Why? Because when that prospective love interest enters your life, he needs to see the high standard of dating you’re used to enjoying. He doesn’t have to know who those flowers came from!

Heck, if he can’t love you better than you do, then what do you need him around for?

Now it’s time to go out!
You don’t even need reservations, but if you want to explore a high-end dining experience, go ahead—just remember that five-star spots usually need reservations unless you have superstar status and paparazzi trailing you!

What I want you to achieve is an air of the unexpected, the spontaneous, the unplanned. Those uncharted moments can be the most fun—you never know what might happen next.

A movie first? Sure! But I find that going to the movies alone on this kind of date can make you feel out of place when couples are kissing up a storm. The focus here isn’t your marital status—it’s treating your mind, body, and soul to a rejuvenating experience that leaves you feeling brand new.

Or go to a play, the opera, or walk through ultra-affluent stores that you might not be able to afford right now—but no one would ever know, because you look like the superstar you are!

This whole thing is about doing you.

Get the picture?
If you want to stay out all night, then do it! If you want to flirt and enjoy some “no-pressure” male energy, then do that too! You are beautiful. You are sexy. You are intelligent. You need to know this and feel this when you put your vehicle on the racetrack of life. You are the star, darling—and the world is your audience, clamoring to witness your performance.

Understand where I’m coming from?

You may not be a narcissistic woman who craves constant attention, but you at least deserve to travel in that lane of indulgence and know that you are worthy of all the love, attention, and amenities you can handle.

If you’re truly honest with yourself, you’ll realize you’re long overdue.

Now when you arrive home after such a wonderful time doing everything you wanted, stand in front of that fridge, peel off a few pieces of that rotisserie chicken, and take a sip of wine—or even a little juice.

Take off your clothes and let them trail behind you as you walk to your bedroom (it’s okay—you’re clean, and tonight is about carefree indulgence!).

Look down at that beautiful bed made just for you, and as you stand there fulfilled in those sexy Victoria’s Secret panties, look up at the ceiling and repeat after me:

“[YOUR NAME], that was the most wonderful time I’ve had in recent memory. I promise to always love you, I promise I will never hurt you, and I promise that no one will ever come between this feeling again. If I allow anyone into my delicious space, they have to earn the right to be there by proving their worth over time. But no one—and I mean no one—will ever consider me a cheap, easy, bargain-basement booty in this lifetime!”

After this affirmation of self-commitment, rest. Fall into the most pleasurable slumber imaginable.

It’s your body.
And no one can do it like you can.

Enjoy.
Ain’t nothing like some drama-free bliss.

Good night.
Muuuaaaahhhh!